jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
