wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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