As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Mom said you looked used
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
