There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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