She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
even my farts smell like vagina
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
