I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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