If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
