Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So vagazzling was a success
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
