I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Less talking, more tequila
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
