it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
