what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
