so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
