T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
