omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dick very happy bro
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize