are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
