At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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