It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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