Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
