drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
