you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
