my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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