32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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