Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
