it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
