I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
