1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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