Umm I'm too high to move.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
