It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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