Where is the hickey?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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