Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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