Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Screwed.edu
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize