Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
