that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
