yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
