What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize