Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
