He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
