She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
