he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
