I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
