Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
