i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
