she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize