remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
