i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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