kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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