it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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