She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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