i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
