i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
