i just had sex bonerless
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
