If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
