Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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