...so i touched it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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