I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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