oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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