having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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