At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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