im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
