Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
