I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
