shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize