well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
