we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
