Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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