My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The ass gains better be worth it
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