wanna go halves on a baby?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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